Smögen i min Hjärta

This is something I have always said. It means Smögen is in my heart. I remember when I was in middle school school, it was always during the most nerve-recking period, summer exams where I would long for Smögen the most! I could almost taste the salty winds from the exam hall. During the exams, on my desk I would have a picture of the view outside my Dad's house on the island. Going to Smögen every Summer was the highlight of the year. Each year, I pushed through school only to have another magical Summer on the island. It was there I felt most creative and most free. And after 20 years, I still feel that way.

When I was 14 years, old I was out for a walk on the rocks on the magical island of Smögen. The answer came to me so clearly. I knew it then and I remember the day and the feeling like yesterday. It was so clear to me in that moment that I wanted to be an artist and live on this island when I finished high school.

I wanted to study art at a UK University remote, and live on this island while I studied. I believe the only school that was offering a BA art program was Hertfordshire University. Of course, it was possible back then and looking back, it would have worked out. But from a spiritual perspective, it wasn't my path then. On the other hand, if I had the support and encouragement to do what I wanted to do back then, it would have been possible. But that thinking puts me in a very negative emotional state. It makes me angry to think about. It's a waste of energy because I can't change the past, I can only learn from it. And these low frequency emotions aren't good for the planet. So I focus on the positive lesson instead and apply it in my life today.

The biggest lesson I've learned from this experience is to not doubt myself and surround myself with people who support me unconditionally. I knew deep down within myself what my heart wanted. I forgive those who didn't support me the way I needed. They only did what they thought was right at the time. Since I was a child, I've always been a very innovative thinker. When I was 12 I remember telling my Grandmother that one day we will have mini televisions in our pocket. And don't we with smartphones? Even wanting to study remote for University back in 2009, and now everything is remote. Working and studying remote is now considered normal. If anything, this reflection has given me so much confidence that anything is possible if you have faith and commitment. And also to embrace my forward thinking despite the fearful thoughts of others. Eventually it will become the new normal. I think most people are afraid of change and uncertainty, it's just having the courage to push through. To think and live differently. To be a dare devil, a free-spirit, and let your heart lead the way. And then let your brain figure out the details to make your dreams come true. Never let your brain talk you out of your dreams. I recently read that practicality is a mask of fear. Don't let fear run your life.

If the self-trust isn't there, then it's very easy to follow the opinions of others. At the time I was told that it was not possible to live on the island. I heard things like, "there are no jobs during the winter," "you are a young girl who deserves a real university experience," "remote studying is not real studying," "you need a job," bla bla bla

Everyone is a teacher but you are also your best teacher. It's an inner knowing and a destined path that I believe we are all on. There is a verse in the Poetic Edda about this, which I will tell you about later. In 2017, when I read it, it spoke to me deeply. But at that phase in my life, I was filled with self-doubt, and I let the opinion of someone talk me out of it. But now I'm ready to live these words. And I have been wanting to get it as a tattoo for 7 years now! No more waiting.

I believe in the spiritual timing of everything. This thinking brings peace in my heart. So now, after years of emotional maturing and living life's hardships, I am now able to offer a healing quality to my work.

I've seen the other side of life: the city life, the heartbreak, the career grinding, the superficial, the betrayal, the inauthenticity, the sickness, the grief, etc. Despite me feeling ungrounded for over 10 years, I can see the beauty in the hardship and in a strange way it's helped build my self-esteem. It was a challenging time, like I wasn't in my body. Like my soul kept begging to set it free, and eventually it had enough and left me. I feel like I sleep walked my entire 20s. Of course, there were moments of thrill but looking back, they were all dopamine hits. All chemical feelings to distract me from what I really needed. Self trust. Self love. Now that I found it and staying true to that 14 year old girl, I'm here pursuing my dream as an artist. And my soul is back!!! I can feel it.

I hope to offer something beautiful to this world that can be a very stormy and very beautiful place at times. And if you are ever in need of some peaceful and healing energy, this island awaits your arrival. And me too! ♥︎

Smögen is my paradise destination! Many think of paradise as sandy beaches, palm trees, and warm nights by the pool. For me, paradise is this ancient raw rocky landscape, the icy North winds, and the cold Skagerrak Sea. That's where my heart wants to be. If I was a princess in a Disney movie, this would be my kingdom. After reading my story so far, what do you think the movie would be called?