Annika Alexandra

October 21, 2024October 25, 2024

A Time of Renewal

This is my first Autumn in Sweden since I was a child. Now with each passing day I notice all the subtle changes and shifts in nature. It is a beautiful feeling to witness nature letting go, gently reminding me to let go with it. And in that, I no longer feel alone. In those moments I realise I'm not separate from nature, but one with it.

To me, Autumn feels like the ultimate fresh start. Similar to the feeling that a New Year brings. I've learned in my time here in Sweden this year that each Season brings a feeling of a clean slate. A new beginning. An opportunity to reflect, redirect and grow.

It has nearly been 9 months since I moved to Sweden. I arrived in the middle of Winter, the darkest time of year. I know this dark time is coming with each passing day. I welcome it! Right now, I allow the warmth to build in my heart. I absorb all of nature's warm Autumn colours and breathe in this warm energy to keep the fire in my heart alive during the dark winter months. Then, when the Summer comes, all that inner love and light that I've built up inside my heart can burst out of me and spread to others around me. An abundance of light and love. But in many ways I feel it now more than ever. So I won't let that stop me from sharing my healing light and love with you all around the world. After the soul retreat I learned this is my soul purpose. To heal through my art and presence.

For the first time in my life, I'm starting to experience the beauty in living with the cycle of nature. I've longed to experience living with the Seasons in a remote part of the world. That remote place is here, Bohuslän! A place my heart has longed for each year since I was eleven years old. And with every Summer spent here as a young girl, my love for this place has grown more and more intensely over the years. After bursting through my barriers and letting go of other people's expectations of me, I am now here in my paradise! I have to pinch myself that I'm here. Then the gratitude flows in. I'm here! I'm really here! My dream came true!

After returning home from the meditation retreat I attended in Mallorca, Spain, I revisited the nature reserve that is only a few minutes from my homestead. I spent time taking pictures, dancing in the sunlight, and getting lost in the moment. My favourite way to spend my time on earth. So many creative ideas came flooding in. I've made a habit to carry a notebook around so I can capture the ideas like capturing fire flies in a mason jar. For me, writing it down means the idea is mine and ready to be given life. And wow do the ideas come flooding in when I release tension, let go of control, and just breathe in the beautiful nature, sounds and smells around me. The air is so fresh here. And the sea brings a saltiness to the air that I love.

I hope with each passing Season, I gain a deeper awareness of myself as I embrace the knowing that I am part of nature's changes because I am nature. Something I connected with deeply at the meditation retreat.

Which part of this beautiful earth do you call home in your heart? Do you also get to be part of nature's magical changes? What's that feel like to you? And if you are not where you want to be in life, where would you like to be? And what part of you is stopping you? Often it's our fearful thoughts. Accept them with love and say "I know you are afraid, but I'm going to take the action anyway." I hope this helps ♥︎ Remember that the answers are not always clear at first. Often we have the feeling in our heart but thoughts about not knowing how to go about it can stop us. One small step forward matters. And keep repeating that every day. The journey is more important anyway. Trust that the answers will come along the way. That has been my experience this year as I've embarked on my journey back to self. Lots of uncertainty, tears, worry. But in the end, it all worked out. It always does.

Here come some pictures of beautiful Ramsvik. Did you know that Vik is where the Vikings got their name from. It's because they lived on these Viks. I believe they are called inlets in English.

*Väderöarna - An archipelago in Western Sweden*

October 20, 2024October 20, 2024

A Spooky Experience

Good morning Sweet Hearts! It's 10:30am. I woke up around 9am to let Leiana in. She was crying in the middle of the night because it started to rain at 3am. I got up at that time to open the door. I called for her but she didn't come. Then for the rest of the night I was in a half sleep half awake state hearing constant cat crying in my head. I'm sure it was her for real, but I just couldn't get out of bed. I was so tired. Now she is safe and sound, snuggled up on the sofa with a warm breakfast in her belly. She looks so cozy it makes me want to jump back into bed. I didn't get the best night's sleep last night. I did go to bed at 1am, which always makes me feel like a zombie when I wake up. I try and go to bed at 10pm.

Here comes the spooky story. This has happened to me before in old houses. We talked about spirits and paranormal activity at the meditation retreat I went on at the beginning of this month because we women seemed to have our unique gifts. I understand now that some people are more sensitive to seeing spirits than others. I believe they are still living in their time. And if you believe in quantum reality, which science is starting to prove, time doesn't exist in the linear way our brain knows it to be. So people really do exist in their time and in our time "at the same time", if that makes sense. If you are interested in learning more I encourage you to read about quantum physics and even quantum leaping. It's a fascinating subject.

With all of that said, last night I woke up to the sound of footsteps in my bedroom. Immediately, I was scared but then I felt the energy in the room and sensed it was nothing to be afraid of. I just said out loud, "hello friendly Spirit, please let me sleep." I then visualised a protective white light around me and fell back asleep.

Another spooky experience happened a few weeks ago where the old clock that was left behind in the house (which no longer works), starting chiming at midnight. I feel goosebumps on my skin just writing this.

Do you believe in ghosts? Have you had any spooky paranormal experiences? Let me know in the comments ❤️👻

October 19, 2024November 29, 2024

A Time to Shine Your Inner Light

Here it is! As promised, a new YouTube video where I share glimpses into my experience at a grounding meditation retreat on the beautiful island of Mallorca. I also share some moments with my Dad in my 200 year old barn (filmed during the Summer this year). It's in "Swe-english". I'm sorry for the non Swedish speakers out there. I will try and add captions. There is a bit of English in there so I hope you get the idea. My Dad and I have always speak a mixture of Swedish and English. It's quite funny and I have no idea where that comes from haha

Here come some moments from October and of course some summer barn footage. I hope you like it ♥︎

Sending you a big warm hug. See you soon ♥︎

October 19, 2024November 29, 2024

Golden Mornings

Good morning my friend!

How have you been? I hope you had a beautiful week. It's Saturday morning here on the coast. I'm in my beautiful homestead by the fire. I've had my morning coffee and Leiana, my cat, is sleeping next to me on the couch. She has been out all night hunting and exploring. The two nights before she slept at the foot of my bed. This was so cozy and I think I will make this a routine because I slept so well with her next to me. She seemed calmer too. After plenty of sleep she was ready for a night of exploring. It's been raining the past days, and last night was a full night with no rain. So Leiana was eager to get outside.

*What fire burns inside of you? What needs releasing?*

I sit here with my slippers on and my feet up. It's 9:44am and the morning is flying by. I spent my morning editing a video that I will post later today on my YouTube channel. In the video, I talk about my experience at the meditation retreat I went to at the start of October. It's been such a life changing experience for me. I have a deeper level of acceptance and awareness. I only covered the surface of it in this video and would love to talk more in depth about the experience. I worry that the videos get too long and that I talk too much. But maybe you like that?

The one thing that I forgot to mention in the video was this profound moment of emotional release. The woman who was leading the retreat, Katja, heals with energy. It was during the cocoa ceremony where I had this burst of release from my solar plexus. It is believed that this part of the body governs the fire inside of you. I see it as the sun within. The light within.

There, I had stored a lot of junk that I no longer needed. The solar plexus is tied to your identity. I felt this energy burst out of my stomach. This energy that was no longer helping me grow into my best self. I'm getting goosebumps writing this. It was an incredible experience. I'm forever changed because of it.

Katja said it wasn't so much a blockage but more that my chakra was out of balance. Almost like it needed to be reset back to Annika. This makes sense since so much of my life has been dedicating toward pleasing others. No more of that. I can't wait to see what life will bring me now. Free of pleasing others, committed to my own happiness with the knowing that it's in the highest good of the world. This is your sign to follow your joy. And a gentle reminder that it is not selfish, even though it might feel that way sometimes. What is one thing today you can do for yourself, despite feelings of guilt? Let me hear from you in the comments ♥︎

Time for my second cup of coffee and then I will post this video to YouTube. After that I will spend the rest of my day cleaning and setting up my art studio. Unless the Sun comes out, then I'm outside again with my camera. Speak soon lovely!

October 17, 2024October 19, 2024

September in Pictures

It feels strange to see all the pictures taken in a month. You get a full overview of not only what happened in that month, but also how you feel about what you did. In many ways I see it as a reflective exercise.

Overall, September wizzed by at the speed of light. I see from my pictures that I spent more time at home and glued to my computer. September was beautiful in many ways as I could really feel the seasons change. I think there is something beautiful about the in-between. Not quite Autumn but no longer Summer. In these moments, true magic and transformation happens both within us and in nature. It's a letting go process. That is always scary, isn't it? But as the Seasons change, it's a gentle reminder, a whisper from nature to let go so you can grow into your truth. Free to be who we are at our core, not who we are supposed to be or expected to be.

Once the Autumn fully arrived, I embraced it. September was that month where I was not ready to let go of Summer. Nature had not fully letting go yet. But change was coming. I could see nature's slow process of transformation with each passing day. And I could also feel it inside me. I believe that if we can recognise ourselves in nature, we will be much gentler with ourselves.

Autumn teaches us the power of letting go.

*From when I started my new life here this Summer*

Since I was a little girl, I loved Autumn the most. I would build forest hideouts, make campfires with flint stones that I found in the ground, and build a mountain of brown leaves that I could jump into. It was always a soft landing. It was also the time where I believed trolls were most active in the forests. I would always imagine them in there, friendly yet hidden.

Here come some moments from my days in September on the beautiful Northwest Coast of Sweden. It has now been four months since I moved into my homestead.

*One of my favourite places to be. A hidden gem*

*The fire is burning more now to prepare the house for cold nights*

*Dream every day. It's your heart speaking to you*

*Looking forward to setting up my office upstairs. It's been really cozy to work here by the fire and a snoring cat*

*The house has been in a state of organised chaos this month. Feels good to have tackled a lot of paperwork*

*I started to make my favourite Autumn soups: carrot, tumeric and ginger*

*They don't taste like store bought berries*

*My desire to help conserve nature has been ignited*

*Bison! Sometimes I feel like I live in Yellowstone*

*Goodbye bright nights, hello inner light*

*Full moon lights up the bedroom. The time I hear the most animals rustling outside*

*A moose taking a stroll outside my house one early evening*

*The most beautiful sunset. The sun saying goodbye to September*

*Celebratory lunch with master athlete Dad! He came second in the world championship for master athletics in Göteborg this year*

*Renewing my Swedish Passport! Ready for adventures*

*I feel like my house was in a constant state of mess and disorganisation this month*

*Leiana reminding me to relax and stay present*

*Framing my first self portrait photograph*

October 16, 2024October 19, 2024

Exhausted

Right now I feel exhausted. Emotionally, mentally and physically. My body is a cocktail of emotions right now. I promised myself after the retreat that I would show more of my humanity online. Of course, with the purpose to help others feel less alone in their struggles and share healthier ways to overcome them. I want to spread my love, my joy, my passions with the world. But life is hard sometimes. It has its moments. It tests us. It challenges us. All for the greater good. Although in the moment its hard to see that.

Right now I feel inspired, sad and exhausted. It's 8:22pm and I could easily jump into bed and fall asleep. I think I'm still processing my time at the retreat. The spiritual guide encouraged us to rest at home after the retreat to integrate everything we had worked through in our subconscious world. That topped with the grief of losing my Grandmother this past weekend has put me at a new level of exhaustion. It's not a negative exhaustion. I feel it's an invitation to rest. That's why I say fuck perfection, because my mind wants to create, produce and be productive. But some moments call for rest and restoration.

I have promised myself for these past months that I would not push myself into hyper productivity like I had in the past. This way of life pushed me into sickness. Being a highly sensitive human being means more time is needed for relaxing and restoration. I feel very deeply and need time to process alone. Especially during challenging times.

How often do you give yourself permission to rest?

October 16, 2024November 2, 2024

An Ache in My Heart

Hello my dear readers!

It's been some time since my last post. Time is flying by so fast and I have so much I dream of doing with the time I have in this one precious life. More and more with each passing day I realise how fragile life is. This fuels my desire even more to go after my dreams and create every day.

I started this month with a beautiful soul retreat on an island in the Mediterranean Sea. I will tell you about this in my next YouTube video. I plan to film a little update tomorrow and post it here. I want to be more active now on social media. I have found a new sense of clarity, focus and peace within after this soul retreat. I spent 6 days at a beautiful finca in the countryside of Mallorca with four beautiful women. We learned about emotions, vulnerability, feeling, higher consciousness, mother earth, spirituality, our ancestors, and womanhood. We spent our days nature gazing, meditating, healing through frequency, the law of attraction, connecting with the elements, sharing stories, and eating exotic fruits and fresh vegetables. It was a beautiful and life changing experience. I came home feeling more grounded than ever before. And more accepting of my high sensitive nature.

When I arrived on the island, I really set the intention to switch off my connection to the outside world, and just focus on the experience. As a small intimate group, we explored energy work, healing with sound therapy, and embracing old shamanic rituals to reconnect and transform. I could talk about this all day and will share some video clips on my YouTube channel.

Shortly after returning home last week, I received a heartbreaking message from my Mum. She lives in Newcastle in the North East of England. I haven't visited in a while. I had plans to visit my Grandmother after the retreat. I had just recently reconnected with my Mum this year after a difficult past. I felt ready to return to my English roots with forgiveness in my heart and longing to feel the warmth of my Grandmother's hand in mine.

It saddens me to say that my Grandmother passed away this Saturday evening. Although I knew the day would come, upon receiving the news I burst into tears and felt a brick heavy in my stomach.

Saturday night, Grandma crossed over into the spirit world while sleeping. She felt no pain. I am grateful I had the chance to see her on video when speaking to my Mum. It was the day before she left Earth. She was sleeping, drifting. My Mum and I spoke to her, we sung to her. It was the perfect farewell before the nurses came into her room to check on her.

I sense Grandma is at peace now. It was her time. The grief I feel comes in waves. I hear her voice encouraging me to remember the good times, to remember her not as a dying woman but as a strong and loving woman. She was a social worker, a white witch, and she loved her community. I remember as a child we would walk hand and hand around town and she would say hello to everybody. As she went about her routine in Sunderland, shopping for fresh vegetables at the market to make fresh Irish stew, she would greet everyone in her Northeastern accent, "altreet pet, alreet son." Every baby in a pram got a tickle and a smile. She exuded warmth to everyone around her.

I believe her warmth and love and strength lives in me. She is not really gone. I think there is much peace that I have found in believing that she is dancing away and laughing with loved ones. And that her Soul continues to expand in another being. I'm not a religious woman but I am spiritual. I find something beautiful in every religion. I take what resonates and leave the rest. I don't believe in conforming if it doesn't feel true to me. And I would never push my beliefs and opinions on anyone else. We all have our unique paths in life and beliefs that comfort us in sadness and joyful times. I'm curious to know what your thoughts are on this? What has helped you grieve loved ones and find peace within? Are you a spiritual person? What helps you ground and find peace in your day?

From this day forward, I will honour my Grandmother's life by living mine to the fullest. She would want me to not take my life for granted. She would want me to enjoy every moment of it. "Footloose and fancy free" she would say.

Rest in peace Grandma. I love you a million times around the Universe. Thank you for the love and time you gave me. We'll see each other again ♥︎

*Grandpa (26), Grandma (21) Wedding Day December 1956*

*Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you ♥︎*

One of my Grandma's favourites

September 24, 2024October 24, 2024

A Patient Cat

Good evening to you!

I want to welcome my new YouTube subscribers. Thank you for being here ❤️ It feels so special to know you wish to spend your time following my new life on the Swedish West Coast. I am so grateful that you also support my artist dream by watching my videos and following me on my blog. Thank you thank you!!!

Today has been a relaxing Tuesday with a lot of indoor work since it's been a rainy Autumn day. It's 7:50pm now and I've enjoyed a lovely healthy dinner: salmon, rice and salad.

*Leiana likes to wait here while I prep food in the kitchen*

Leiana, my cat, is now happily fed and sleeping to my right on the sofa. The candles are lit, and I can feel my body winding down for bed. I've had a lot of late nights recently. I feel my body needs rest and a routine. I look forward to some early foggy Autumn mornings with my camera.

Lots of love to you. A million times around the universe and beyond!

Goodnight and sweet dreams,

Annika

September 22, 2024September 22, 2024

Summer's End

Hej på er kära ni!

I hope you are having a beautiful weekend. I'm certainly having a lazy morning and not dressed for the day yet. I love not having anything planned for Sunday and allow the day to unfold. Sunday is always a nice day for me to practice letting go of my planner, letting go of control, and the need to be productive. Having a rest day is so important for our bodies to heal from the week. Do you think this is why we have the Mondays?

So how has your week been? Let me know what you have been up to in the comments. I love community! And I LOVE supporting artists and anyone who is intrigued by life on the Swedish West Coast. This week I created a lot of mini vlogs that I posted on YouTube. They are not perfect, and that is exactly what I'm working on right now. To overcome perfection. I know that I need to overcome my fear or being judged, and to just throw out a few pancake productions before I can move on to more cinematic videos. That is what I would really like. To create more cinematic shots and moments of true human connection with you through visual storytelling. But for now, connection is better than perfection. Don't you think? 🙂

Last night was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had seen in a while. And the mist danced among the cows in the field who were grazing by the sea. There is something magical about the mist. My Dad would share stories with me as a child where the mist were spirits coming to visit us. I love carrying that childlike wonder inside my heart. I think it's important to rediscover the things we loved as a child. That way we can get in touch with our true essence. I have definitely reaped the benefits of doing this and don't think I would be living the life I do today if I didn't get in touch with my inner child.

Here come some pictures and moments from my life this week. Have a beautiful Sunday and I'll see you soon ♥︎

Friday 20 September 2024

*Driving home with the smell of fresh pizza in the car*

September 19, 2024September 19, 2024

Still Standing

Hello lovely!

I'm so sorry it's taken a while to write. I didn't think I would be so affected by the tree cutting. They continued their work last night when I was out at dusk with my cat and camera taking pictures of a family of deer and a huge moose.

*A very energetic family of deer happily grazing yesterday evening*

*Capturing the wildlife surrounding my home*

I felt happy being outside capturing the beautiful wildlife, yet I carried an unsettled feeling. It was a worry stirring inside. I could hear the moose breathing heavily and stomping through the trees. I could feel its power. But the sound was disrupted by the sound of engine and the smell of fumes from the tree assembling truck. It brings a tightness in my chest just writing this because that's exactly how it felt last night experiencing the sound and smell of engine.

Anyway, I'm trying to shift my focus towards the positive and the gratitude that I feel towards witnessing my first moose. And to have captured this beautiful beast on camera.

I didn't think moose would want to be so close to the sea, but here they are soaking in the sea air and the rich minerals in the air and vegetation.

How time is flying! I'm already planning October projects and it's almost sending me into a panic. But I breathe and think how grateful I am to have this opportunity to create art every day. I did not have this possibility when working a normal 9-5 job so I feel most days in a panic trying to make the most of every minute. I'm trying to let go of this urgency and just be in the moment. That's just my worst case future brain thinking, "nothing lasts forever," which has some truth to it. But I don't want that to take away from enjoying the moment I'm in.

In many ways, I feel that because I have experienced a life of creativity, I know now at my core that I am an artist and can't live without creating. It's a feeling so intense it's hard to put into words...A life to me without creating art feels meaningless and soul-sucking. I found a piece of myself this year that I will never give up on. Without it, I feel like I don't exist. Like I can't exist. Like a piece of me would die. Perhaps some of you can relate. Especially sensitive artists.

So how have you been? How are you feeling today? I would love to get to know you in the comments. It's been a while since my last post. As I write this, the sun is shining through my beautiful farmhouse windows and creating a lightness in the air in my living room.

*The beautiful ancient pine trees are still watching over me*

My art studio is still not set up, but a welcomed project. Right now this house is a big old mess.

It's been an unusually warm September. Or so I've learned from a local who lives in Sotenäs municipality. Every year at this time I usually return home to London, but now that I decided to leave the city life, this will be my first Autumn in Sweden since I was a child.

*Me in my tiny London flatshare, dreaming of being hugged by nature and comforted by a fireplace. Today, I have both in my life. Dream and take action! I believe in you ♥︎*

For those of you who are new here, this year I invested my Swedish Grandparent's hard earned money into a beautiful 150 year old homestead to embrace my new life as an artist. Now I live in this remote part of the world where my ancestors lived. In this short period I have learned that there is deep emotional safety and connection that can be found when reconnecting to your roots.

If you have not already seen it on YouTube, I have posted some videos of me moving in and getting the downstairs sorted.

Filmed Summer 2024

I learned from researching how people lived back in the 1800s, that the downstairs of my house was the main living space, and the upstairs was more of a storage area. And if you believe in quantum physics, well people are living here this way now. Goosebumps. You know, now that I write this, I want to share that I have experienced strange sounds, shadows, and flashing sparks of lights here and there. But I don't feel afraid. There is a warm loving family presence here that makes me feel so at home and comforted. I love it!

As I mentioned earlier, this will be my first Autumn in Sweden since I was a child. I look forward to this new time and I feel open to whatever this time will bring me. I welcome the lessons, the challenges, the setbacks, the positivity, the wisdom, and the light. Because to me, all these things are what makes us human. This is part of the human experience so to me it seems strange to resist it. To resist our humanity.

I would say I have spent a good month focusing on learning about filmmaking and storytelling from the perspective of a writer, an actor, a director, and a photographer. It's all about sharing the human condition through story. It's primal for us to listen and tell stories. So it seems incredibly strange how we as humans have lived in this emotionally suppressed state. Hiding our vulnerability. For too long in my opinion. It's time to break free and dive into our vulnerability. And to me, strength is showing vulnerability; through groundedness, presence, openness, elegance, grace, empathy, compassion, and silence. It's odd to say but I have personally found true happiness in sharing my vulnerability with others.

What is your experience with this?

I hope you are having a beautiful week and I will speak to you soon ♥︎

Annika Alexandra

A Time of Renewal

A Spooky Experience

A Time to Shine Your Inner Light

Golden Mornings

September in Pictures

Exhausted

An Ache in My Heart

A Patient Cat

Summer's End

Still Standing

Stay inspired!

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