Healing through art, nature & heritage - Life on the Northwest Coast of Sweden
Healing through art, nature & heritage - Life on the Northwest Coast of Sweden
I can't believe I'm here on this magical Swedish island. I got goosebumps on my legs just writing that. How I’ve dreamt of living here for an extended period of time taking photos, creating art, and blogging about the island and coastal nature. And now I'm here! My dream happened and it still feels so unreal. I will not waste another second worrying about the future. I am living here and now, simply.
After a ten hour flight from Los Angeles to Paris, plus a five hour layover, I finally landed in Gothenburg airport at 22:30 on Monday the 29th of January, 2024. I felt too tired to drive, so I checked in to the Scandic airport hotel for the night. I felt incredibly relaxed after a shower and just wanted to cozy up and eat in bed. Luckily I still had my truffle risotto that I bought at a cafe in Paris. I was so hungry that I ate it cold. It was delicious! I didn’t have cutlery so I used two coffee stirrers that I found in the hotel room, and turned them into chopsticks haha Although they were flat, it still worked!
I fell asleep close to 1am and woke up at 7am the next day. I had the most wonderful Swedish breakfast at the hotel. A complete spread of everything: cold cuts, various cheese selections, beautifully presented yogurt fruit cups, herring with dill, fresh bread, and so much more! I was in breakfast heaven.
I made myself a sandwich for the drive ahead and enjoyed all my childhood favorites. I was like a kid in a candy store. I had pancakes, apple juice, and a cheese sandwich. I kept telling myself, “I’m here, I’m really here!” It was like a part of me felt it wasn’t real. As if it were a dream. For the longest time it felt that all my decisions up to this point in my life have been to accommodate other people's feelings, opinions, needs and expectations. I have compromised on my happiness for far too long. This was my moment to overcome codependency and come alive again.
It was during breakfast were I was reflecting on how much I have compromised my happiness in my life to keep other's content, calm and happy. So when I sat at the breakfast table, it felt strange to make a choice that was 100% purely for me. I felt guilty, but it's the guilt that kept me trapped in an inauthentic life. I have learned that it's not selfish to put yourself first. I believe that we all came to this planet to enjoy our true selves, and to share our joy with the world. But how can I lift others up if I'm not happy within myself and my own life choices? How can I attract genuine relationships into my life if I'm not being genuine with myself?
The reality of moving to Sweden had not fully sunk in yet. My body was exhausted from the travel. But in my heart I knew I was finally taking responsibility for my future happiness. That felt empowering!
After a grocery shop hoarding all my childhood favourites, and a 3 hour drive to an island just off the Northwest coastline of Sweden, I finally arrived at a very cold and dark house. After I turned on the water and the heat, I made some tea, a cup of soup before snuggling into bed with a Disney movie. The wind howled all night. Cozy! I will be staying here at my childhood summer home until I figure out next steps in my life. I'm currently in a cloud of uncertainty, joy and grief.
Here come some photos and a little video blog from my journey. From my old life to my new life. Enjoy! ♥︎
I ran to the gate and missed the plane by four minutes. Sweat was pouring down and I was in tears after the airline representative told me I missed it. I could still see the plane but it had already detached from the bridge. I watched it slowly reverse and tears were streaming down. I was in shock. I have only missed a plane once in my life, and I have flown a lot of planes in my life. I started at the young age of twelve flying between Sweden and England to visit my divorced parents. After calling the airline, I was rebooked for the same day and on my way. And in desperate need of a shower.
An old crunchy mattress waits for me in Sweden haha
Once I made the decision to move to Sweden, I started making a mess around the apartment. A lot of important decisions to make in a cloud of mixed emotions. Excitement, sadness, grief, relief. The list goes on.
This painting is very special to me because this is the painting I was working on when I needed answers for my next steps in life. It was a time in my life where I felt stuck. The power of art showed me the way forward.
It was 2am, and while I was painting on the kitchen floor in California the answer came to me so gently and clearly. A gentle whisper within. It was a strong feeling of an inner knowing that I'm moving to Sweden. I decided to embrace curiosity, listen to my intuition, take a leap of faith, and honour my younger self who always dreamt of living on this magical coastline as an artist.
Sometimes we hear the thing we need to hear. Even if it makes us uncomfortable.
Last month I decided to try therapy with Better Help for the first time in my life (not sponsored). It's incredible how much I've gotten out of it so far. I was matched up with a therapist who reminds me of the Grandmother Willow tree in Disney's Pocahontas. I have always wished for a wise healing presence in my life to lean on during difficult times. And here she is! The Universe heard my call. It's been challenging to not be able to lean on my Grandmother since she was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago.
This page of notes captures the most important thoughts and reflections buzzing around inside of me. Perhaps it gives you some insight into my decision to embark on my creative healing journey in Sweden.
My goal this year is to do more of what I enjoyed doing as a child. I want to feel more joy and safety inside myself again. I believe inner child work is a powerful road to authenticity and creative expression. I was a happy child in Sweden. Maybe I will be happier living there? I haven't felt happy in a long time.
As I journey home to the coast from the California mountains, I can feel a change inside of me. A shift. Things are going to be different from now on.
After quitting my big city job in July last year, I decided to embark on my inner child journey by leaving London and moving to Southern California. A place where it all began. The land where I was born.
I wanted to give myself a fresh start. A second chance in life.
