A Rebirth

Yesterday, I came to believe that I was whole. For years I kept telling myself I'm enough, but I never really believed it inside. In the past week, I have felt a shift inside of me, and now I am able to put words on my experience. This shift in perspective about myself did not happen overnight. Although it felt like it came to me suddenly and unexpectedly, it has been years of hard work, investing time and energy into my healing. It has only been in the past two weeks that things really started to take shape. In the spiritual and healing world we often hear that in the darkness there is light. I have always embraced the idea, but to experience it is a profound human experience. The pain is excruciating, but the happiness, lightness and freedom that comes from this dark period is worth it. And I encourage anyone to visit the aspects of themselves they have ignored for years. In there lies the answers to your happiness, not a podcast or a book. You have all the answers to your happiness within yourself. It's just about trusting that inner voice. The inner knowing that always has your best interest at heart.

This month of May has been a special one so far. I felt a true shift in perspective about how I see myself, and now I see the world in a more positive light. It's amazing how you see the world in a different way when you change the limiting perspectives about yourself. I have always struggled with not feeling enough and carried the emotional weight of others who project their emotions onto me. I have lost myself many times in the effort to help others manage their emotions. I wasn't even aware I was doing it. Once it started to make me sick on a physical level, did I change my entire way of life. Through awareness and understanding why I behaved in this way, I was able to meet myself with compassion, and chose a different path. A path to self. I am responsible for letting go of this caretaker role, even if that means I lose relationships in the process. I am responsible for my health and happiness. And as the saying goes, you can't be everything to everyone.

If I was to change the word therapy or healing, I would change it to truth-seeking, awareness building, awakening. That is what therapy is. It was the truth that helped me be proactive about making different choices. And for the first time in my whole life, I felt fearless. In many ways I do believe you can change your life overnight. It's the preparation to make that decision that is the hard work: overcoming the self doubt, dropping the perception of yourself that is flawed, and finding the courage to trust your thoughts, feelings and needs.

During the Covid pandemic I started my healing journey. I bought countless books and listened to hundreds of podcasts. I was committed to my personal growth, but the intention for healing came from a place of inadequacy and unworthiness. Now I feel I am enough and still growing. I naturally have a growth mindset and now that I believe I am enough, anything that I learn is just a cherry on top of my existence. I finally understand that life is about learning the lessons, and through that process of living I can grow into who I am meant to be in each and every day. But I am always whole and growing. Everyday I am who I'm meant to be.

This new perspective of myself and in life is changing me. All I needed to do was drop the responsibility of taking care of other's emotions, and see myself for who I am rather than allowing other people's perspectives of me to influence how I see myself. If they think I'm selfish or mean for setting boundaries, then that is a projection of themselves. We all know that setting boundaries is not a selfish act. It's an act of love and kindness to self and others. As long as they are communicated in a calm and respectful tone, free of judgement and filled with mindful observation. I have learned that boundaries are not there to change anyone, but they do have a magical away of holding up the mirror to encourage others to face the things they project onto you. The mirror of fear is really the mirror of love and invitation to love. In my experience, setting boundaries has made others angry. But it's their projection. I finally realise it's not my emotion to own. I am finally free.

This new realisation has given me a new found freedom. A freedom to explore who I am through experiencing life, trying new things, and not being afraid to fail. Like a child engaging with life for the first time, and exploring the world through a sense of awe and wonder. Now I can live and I can't wait to share what I grow into each and every day. Life is to be enjoyed, and the joy is to be shared with others. That is why I won't be a "how to" content creator. I am just here to share my personal story with you, because I believe when we share our joy with the world, it spreads more joy in the world.

There are countless podcasts and books on this topic of purpose and meaning, and you can spend your entire life reading and listening in the preparation to live your best life. But if I can offer some comfort with simple advice. Through my own life experience, finding my purpose and happiness has been an effort toward finding what brings me joy. And once you have an idea about what you think it is, it's about having the courage to try it. Life is about exploring who you are so make mistakes, make adjustments and try different paths until you find your landing pad. There is no right or wrong way to live. Be free, let it flow, and soar.

But don't forget to enjoy the flight!

A Little Spring Break

Hello sweet friend,

I just wanted to pop in to say that I will take a little Spring break vacation. I will take two weeks to break old habits, create new routines, create a healthier and happier version of myself. I will treat this as a little "holiday" and time to catch up on some work that I have fallen behind on. That way I can start fresh in May!

It's also been a challenging period emotionally. I will take some time to reflect and plan my next step forward in life. Spring is the best time to reflect and set intentions for the year to come. Lots of fun projects and new beginnings happening already this month. There is so much to look forward to in the days to come.

I'll see you in a few weeks. Enjoy your time and can't wait to hear what you have been up to.

Lots of love,

Annika Alexandra ꨄ

Perspective is Everything

It's fascinating to think that just over 1000 years ago human beings had a whole different perspective of the earth we live on. It makes us wonder if there is a right and wrong. Eventually things evolve and redefine what is "normal."

I enjoy imagining the possibilities of a new way of living and what the next 1000 years could look like. We live in a world where there is rigidity, structure, conformity and tradition. We also live in a world of freedom, creativity and compassion. Eventually, conformity loses and freedom prevails. Eventually society grows and evolves into a new way of life. A visionary steps in and changes the landscape of the world we live in. That is the beauty of creativity. Without it we would stay the same, wouldn't we? I think there is power in thinking outside the box and challenging what feels safe and familiar.

I feel the world is going through a big transition right now. Being stuck in an old perspective seems to only cause us harm. Why do we continue to do more of what we know doesn't work? I think it comes down to lack of awareness, lack of empathy, and fear. And ego of course. What do you think?

I dream of how beautiful the world could be if we created more art, sang more songs, danced under the stars, made love in the grass, grew our own food, cuddled more animals, lived a more autonomous and self-sufficient lifestyle. How much at ease I feel inside my body to just to just think about. I believe we are naturally creative and spiritual beings. If we embraced our natural human being-ness more, I wonder what the world could grow into. A world of peace and love, perhaps?

As I reflect on my photographs captured this past month, it seems I've been naturally fascinated about cloud formations. Anything to do with the sky really, the sun and the moon. So what if we could see clouds from a different perspective, beyond what they are from a scientific perspective. My ancestors personified nature and saw it's beauty and danger.

My Norse ancestors believed that clouds were the brain of a giant called Ymir. According to folklore, the world and the heavens were made from the giant Ymir. "When we walk in the forests and mountains, swim in lakes and look up at the stars, Ymir is everywhere around us. The sky is his skull, the mountains and rocks his bones, the earth is his flesh, trees and grass are his hair, his blood is all the water in the seas and lakes – and the clouds in the sky are his brain. So he must have been quite a large giant! Around Yggdrasil lies Midgard, the place or the realm in the “middle”, which is the world of mankind. Alongside their homes in Midgard, people also build places that reflect the world of the gods, with a tree, a temple and a source of water." (Source)

This brings me to the idea of personifying natural elements in order to protect it. To create an emotional connection with nature, to tell stories, and inspire people to protect not only through empathy but also through consequence if nature is not protected. Consequence might by the way to inspire people who are more driven by fear than love?

I believe empathy is a key ingredient in solving some big world problems. But unfortunately those who lack empathy are usually ruled by ego. And isn't it ego that causes so much destruction?

Sun & Moon

When I think about healing through heritage, one thing I like to explore is how my Nordic ancestors worshipped the natural elements. Although mythology interests me, what fascinates me even more is knowing that real people in ancient times celebrated the stars, the moon and the sun, as well as seasonal occurrences.

It's interesting to learn how many people and cultures around the world celebrated these natural elements in many different ways. The beauty of perspectives, no right or wrong. Just beliefs and values that comforted men and woman of our past. Even today we celebrate the sun and moon from a new modern perspective. For me personally I appreciate both the science and the spiritual.

Photo by Annika Alexandra Jacobsson
Photo by Annika Alexandra Jacobsson

It's interesting to think about the belief systems that humans had pre-Christian times. I wonder what the world would look like in a post-christian era. This thought might trigger certain readers. I respect all religions and recognise my thoughts about this might offend and terrify many. But this is who I am, I have a deep curiosity about life and like to think outside the box. Isn't it this type of thinking that brings us stories in books and film where we can explore the idea of a futuristic world? Doesn't this thinking make us question what is working and not working in today's world so we can learn and try a different path? Isn't that why humans have evolved over the years? By reflecting and asking ourselves these hard questions? I'm not here to change or influence anyone. I'm simply sharing my thoughts and offering another perspective. We are free after all to voice our opinions in a respectful manner. Everyone deserves respect.

If you wish to learn more, watch this very inspirational video about Nordic Animism. This is the knowledge and practice of engaging and respecting gods and spirits that inhabit the landscapes, the cycle of seasons and history in the Northwestern Europe. In this video you can learn more about how the lunar phases played a vital role in the pre-Christian Nordic lunisolar year. I am interested in exploring the traditional knowledge in the country of my ancestors. It's interesting to learn how many pagan traditions still exist today.

My curiosity led me to this video, and I thought you might be interested in watching too 🙂 Enjoy!