Exhausted

Right now I feel exhausted. Emotionally, mentally and physically. My body is a cocktail of emotions right now. I promised myself after the retreat that I would show more of my humanity online. Of course, with the purpose to help others feel less alone in their struggles and share healthier ways to overcome them. I want to spread my love, my joy, my passions with the world. But life is hard sometimes. It has its moments. It tests us. It challenges us. All for the greater good. Although in the moment its hard to see that.

Right now I feel inspired, sad and exhausted. It's 8:22pm and I could easily jump into bed and fall asleep. I think I'm still processing my time at the retreat. The spiritual guide encouraged us to rest at home after the retreat to integrate everything we had worked through in our subconscious world. That topped with the grief of losing my Grandmother this past weekend has put me at a new level of exhaustion. It's not a negative exhaustion. I feel it's an invitation to rest. That's why I say fuck perfection, because my mind wants to create, produce and be productive. But some moments call for rest and restoration.

I have promised myself for these past months that I would not push myself into hyper productivity like I had in the past. This way of life pushed me into sickness. Being a highly sensitive human being means more time is needed for relaxing and restoration. I feel very deeply and need time to process alone. Especially during challenging times.

How often do you give yourself permission to rest?