An Inner Strength
Did you know that honeysuckle is Bohuslän's provincial flower? It's called Vildkaprifol in Swedish. It represents strength and adversity in the toughest of external conditions. For me the honey suckle represents knowing your own worth so you can walk down your authentic soul path in life. I am blessed to have this wild flower growing in my garden. There is still one left, hanging on as the cold winter sea winds come to greet the land.
Since returning home from the grounding retreat, I look at my surroundings with more presence. I feel excitement in my belly. Like a curiosity a child feels seeing the world for the first time. Curious about the earth and my gifts. I have always wanted to express but I felt a creative lock for a long long time. Probably, since I was a teenager. I have feared creating and expressing myself. It didn't feel safe. I lacked a sense of self.
In my young adult years, I bought into the false belief that money and a fancy office job would make me happy. It didn't. My life felt meaningless. During this time I sought comfort in romantic relationships but it never truly fulfilled me. I had a void that needed filling. I was the only one who could fill it. I craved true connection, fresh air, and a job where I could express myself creatively. So here I am, jumping into the unknown world of entrepreneurship. I feel free for the first time in a long time!
Of course, with my art business I would like to bring in enough income to sustain this lifestyle. I feel a freedom now to create, born from a courage in my heart. I don't know if this business will be successful, but I believe it can be with hard work and consistency. I always had this courage but it was layered with years of fear. Fear that I felt I released at the meditation retreat I went on last month. At the retreat I learned how to nature gaze and allow the power of nature to heal you. It really helped me release something stuck inside. Like a door that was locked and cob webby. Now something let go inside me and my soul can finally sing.
So much about being an artist is having a healthy mindset. Most artists are highly sensitive, so emotional wellbeing is a very important foundation, otherwise it can block creativity. It's important to keep the flow open, to stay present and breathe in moments where you notice your brain is misleading you.
In the last five years, I had to teach myself about healing and growing emotionally. I have now reached an emotional maturity and an awareness of self that I never thought possible five years ago. Back then I doubted it was possible, but I longed to become this woman who feels fearless and free. And now I'm here believing anything is possible. We are art after all.
In the face of adversity and twists in life, I still found my way forward. Just like the Vildkaprifol. Vulnerable and free.
I hope you are having a beautiful Saturday ꨄ