Into The Unknown

After a ten hour flight from Los Angeles to Paris, plus a five hour layover, I finally landed in Gothenburg airport at 22:30 on Monday the 29th of January, 2024. I felt too tired to drive, so I checked in to the Scandic airport hotel for the night. I felt incredibly relaxed after a shower and just wanted to cozy up and eat in bed. Luckily I still had my truffle risotto that I bought at a cafe in Paris. I was so hungry that I ate it cold. It was delicious! I didn’t have cutlery so I used two coffee stirrers that I found in the hotel room, and turned them into chopsticks haha Although they were flat, it still worked!

I fell asleep close to 1am and woke up at 7am the next day. I had the most wonderful Swedish breakfast at the hotel. A complete spread of everything: cold cuts, various cheese selections, beautifully presented yogurt fruit cups, herring with dill, fresh bread, and so much more! I was in breakfast heaven.

I made myself a sandwich for the drive ahead and enjoyed all my childhood favorites. I was like a kid in a candy store. I had pancakes, apple juice, and a cheese sandwich. I kept telling myself, “I’m here, I’m really here!” It was like a part of me felt it wasn’t real. As if it were a dream. For the longest time it felt that all my decisions up to this point in my life have been to accommodate other people's feelings, opinions, needs and expectations. I have compromised on my happiness for far too long. This was my moment to overcome codependency and come alive again.

It was during breakfast were I was reflecting on how much I have compromised my happiness in my life to keep other's content, calm and happy. So when I sat at the breakfast table, it felt strange to make a choice that was 100% purely for me. I felt guilty, but it's the guilt that kept me trapped in an inauthentic life. I have learned that it's not selfish to put yourself first. I believe that we all came to this planet to enjoy our true selves, and to share our joy with the world. But how can I lift others up if I'm not happy within myself and my own life choices? How can I attract genuine relationships into my life if I'm not being genuine with myself?

The reality of moving to Sweden had not fully sunk in yet. My body was exhausted from the travel. But in my heart I knew I was finally taking responsibility for my future happiness. That felt empowering!

After a grocery shop hoarding all my childhood favourites, and a 3 hour drive to an island just off the Northwest coastline of Sweden, I finally arrived at a very cold and dark house. After I turned on the water and the heat, I made some tea, a cup of soup before snuggling into bed with a Disney movie. The wind howled all night. Cozy! I will be staying here at my childhood summer home until I figure out next steps in my life. I'm currently in a cloud of uncertainty, joy and grief.

Here come some photos and a little video blog from my journey. From my old life to my new life. Enjoy! ♥︎