A Little Pause

Hello dear readers!

A new week, a fresh start. I sit with a morning cup of coffee and reflect on where I am currently with my work and life. Recently, my blog is having some issues with storage so I am unable to share photos. Sharing photos from the beautiful nature here and my daily life is one of the big reasons why I started this blog. Of course, you can find me on Instagram and YouTube, but I wanted a safe and sacred place where I can share deeper parts of myself through writing. I also wanted to share my photos here and offer my readers a chance to interpret my work in their own way. That is what is so healing about art and why I started my blog to start sharing my journey as an artist both internally and with my creative mediums.

While I investigate what is going on with my blog, I will redirect my energy towards YouTube with quick and easy vlogs and films. For a few weeks now I have been battling this conflict between blogging and YouTube. A part of me loves to write, and a part of loves the complexity and multi-layered process of video creation and storytelling through film. Of course, I can do both but it's about finding the time, and having a strategy so I don't burn out, and where I can stay connected with you more regularly. I recognise this is a common challenge for YouTubers and perfectionists. My intention is to keep going for as long as I can, and for as long as YouTube is still around. Even if that means making some "shitty" videos. Completion is better than perfection.

I took this little issue with my blog as a sign. It's not a big issue, but since I'm just starting out as an artist and business owner, I couldn't justify spending money on adding storage when I have such a little following at the moment. And especially since YouTube is free and easier to reach new audiences. So for now I will prioritise spending more time on YouTube and Instagram, and pop in here when I feel inspired to write and share a few photos. How often, I can't promise that right now. But I will focus more on regular updates on YouTube, especially now that I have 90 beautiful souls who subscribed to my channel. THANK YOU!!! ♥︎

I hope this new way of working helps me balance all the different platforms while continuing to build a community of likeminded people. Right now, my current following seems to prefer video so I will focus on that medium for now.

Even though I will prioritise YouTube now, I will blog as much as I can because I find writing and sharing art with the world so beautiful. It's calming and helps me slow down. It's also my contribution to help the world heal. Once the artist's work is out there, it doesn't belong to the artist anymore. The art is a mirror for others. It's open to interpretation through the perspective and eyes of other human beings. And that's okay. Every time I want to share my art with the world, it's a constant effort to put aside my ego and inner critic, and allow the art to work its healing powers.

I believe writing still has the power to inspire many others around the world to also find their creative inner voice. My deeper vision and core purpose with my online presence is to help others in this way.

I believe blogs give people an insight into the heart of an individual human being, and that is when magic can happen. Most of the time reading the inner emotional experience of another real human being helps us feel less alone, more inspired, and connected. Since my blog helps me find my creative inner voice, I don't ever see myself stopping. Even if there are zero readers here, I think I will still write because it helps me express myself. Something I wasn't always free to do as a child. I find that each art medium unlocks different drawers inside of me. Writing is a part of that healing process.

I love this old school feeling of blogs and have a strange feeling they will make a come back. Especially since Instagram is so over saturated, too many ads on Facebook, and heavily commented posts on Instagram. I feel like a blog is like a safe space for true and loyal followers who really care about building a community of Nordic nature lovers and artists in need of some inspiration and motivation to create. Also I love to blog because personally my style is more of a diary or a letter to a friend, rather than "how to" content. Like I said, sometimes this way of self expression helps to connect with other people in deeper ways. And that is ultimately what I want to do. Connect.

I've held back on being present online for so many years. I was afraid that it was self-indulgent, egotistical and narcissistic. But the more self-aware I've become and the more clear I've become on my deeper desire to authentically connect with other human beings, is when I had the spark to show up, and I had the reassurance that I wasn't being narcissistic.

I have also learned that as a new creator, somehow writing feels like a safer way to connect with people's hearts. My fear of judgement is still lurking in the shadows, but I'm not letting the fear stop me. Perhaps blogging is a baby step toward more video creation on YouTube. It's scary to put yourself out there.

Hopefully, my blog will be a jumping off point to bigger and greater things. For now, I'm grateful that I have the time, health and energy to do this. It will also be nice to look back on it like a diary in future years. A diary of my life in Sweden, my artist journey, my process, my struggles, failures, set backs, successes, milestones, and happiness. My messy human life. A story ultimately about a young woman reclaiming her true self after years of inauthenticity and abuse.

I have thought hard about sharing my past pains online, and maybe there is a time in the future to do that. Right now I feel called to stay present, to follow my joy, and express myself. Since I started my healing journey in 2020, looking back I realise that reading books, therapy, and listening to podcasts helped to a certain extent. It wasn't until I made scary decisions and uprooted my life that I started to feel better, different, and more connected to my true self. Overnight, my life felt fuller. I believe true healing does come with learning to manage the fear and take action anyway. In my experience, 90% of my energy these past 4 years was spent on learning about the fear, and mastering healthier ways to manage it. Nature and friendships have been a huge support. Then the action was the easy part. This is now my definition of success: feel the fear and take the action anyway. I craved a life closer to nature, my roots, and creativity. And now I have it. Funny. I have a new fear: I'm scared to lose it all.

There is something peaceful about this time of year. The tourists have gone home, the island festivities are over, schools are starting soon, and people go back to work next week in Sweden. It almost feels like I can reclaim the island again. I feel self conscious taking photos when there are people around, and I want to capture the landscape as it is. I don't like to remove elements from the photos. I want the photos to tell the story for how this place ACTUALLY is, without the manipulation of removing people using photo editing software.

I'm so excited for this new chapter and feel a new phase of life. Creating and blooming.

Sending you so much love from the Swedish West Coast. Talk to you soon ♥︎

Lots of love,

Annika