Torn Between Inspiration and Structure
As a human being, I have enjoyed the rewards of some structure in my day. For example blocking my morning, afternoon and evening for certain activities. This has helped me regulate my nervous system where I just feel overall calmer. I remember during the covid lockdown, I was the most structured I have ever been in my life. I suppose that was my way of surviving the uncertainty the world was facing at the time. And strangely that was a time where I have never slept so well.
Lately, I have been given into a flow state of being and living; acting on inspiration. But I think that has also led me to feel scattered. When I'm in that inspired state, so many more ideas pop up out of nowhere. I don't yet have a routine or system in my new home yet, so I have random bits of post-its and A4 papers lying all over the place scribbled with my thoughts and ideas. This morning I sat down and said, "Enough. I need balance."
So I got out my A4 notebook. Another thing that helps me use my notebook is making sure it's not pretty. If the notebook is too beautiful, I never use it. I'm scared of ruining it with my ugly handwriting and random scattered thoughts. So a simple boring grey notebook from the supermarket does the trick!
I sat down with a morning cup of macha from Japan, and started to just write everything that was in my head. I have had a headache for about 24 hours now and thought perhaps it's flooded with too many thoughts. I need to get it out of my head and onto paper. That's just how I am. I feel so much more relaxed getting it out of me. Otherwise, I start to feel like a bottle overflowing.
I then came across a book called "The 12 Week Year" that instantly shifted my mindset. After watching a YouTube video of someone giving a synopsis of the book, I was immediately filled with motivation. This was the kind of structure I needed. Something that felt more immediate, more urgent, closer to actualizing compared to an entire year project. The book's message is that we can achieve what we set out to do in 12 months, in 12 weeks! And that we can achieve in one year what we would otherwise achieve in 4 years. It's all about shifting our mindset and being realistic with the time we have. Personally it sounds a lot like Parkinson's Law, so to me it makes sense.
This is something I want to try now, because I have so many projects and I'm already "behind." One big dream I have is to open a store on the boardwalk in Smögen next Summer where I can sell my art. As life tends to do this, unexpected illness has gotten in the way but it's just about taking a deep breath and starting with what I have now.
The house has also demanded a lot of my energy and focus with getting it fully functioning with basic needs, such as cooking, working space and sleeping. I haven't had a proper bed in months.
Now that things are coming together nice and slow, I feel a lot more focused today than yesterday. Sometimes getting things out on paper helps reduce overwhelm, and makes planning more fun! At least, I think so 🙂
I hope you are having a calm and productive day.
LOTS OF LOVE,
Annika
P.S. Here is some music I'm currently listening to. Let me know if the link works. I love having playlists by month. It's a nice diary of sounds that have the power to transport me back in time.