Evening Reflections

Things move much slower here on this sparsely populated island in the North Sea. I'm away from the city noise and light pollution that I've been used to the past 15 years: London, Chicago, Washington DC, and Los Angeles. This slower pace of life is teaching me that not everything needs to be hyper-productivity focused all the time. Since arriving on this small Nordic island, I am learning to enjoy the silence, the pauses in my day, and to be still. I also find power in reflecting positively on my past, learning the lessons, and visualising the brightness of my future.

When I think about my past, there was no room for silence, peace and solitude. I felt like I was on a hamster wheel keeping up with the rushing nature of others around me. I felt like I was always disappointing others in some way. I often felt like I couldn't breathe because I was doing everything to make others happy, only to be blamed, criticised and judged by others who never truly took the time to get to know me. This way of me living my life had to end. My life and happiness depended on it. Coming to Sweden is the first time in my life that I have made a decision purely for my own happiness. And the ones who celebrated my return have my best interest. So I decided to let go of the rest because I learned very quickly and painfully who didn't have my best interest at heart.

My life before Sweden left me feeling burnt out, lonely, and unhappy. These moments of silence and solitude with myself are healing. In these moments, I don't feel alone. I'm learning that taking a pause in my life and in my day to rest and just be is not weakness. I see it as a strength. A courageous commitment toward myself, to check on my inner compass and recalibrate if needed. It's in the silence we can truly sink into our own heart and hear its gentle whisper.